December 5 – Let Go – What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? – (Author: Alice Bradley)

Let Go.

I’m not certain how to begin this post. Frankly, letting go scares me. I’m a control freak in so many ways. Not always a good thing, and it doesn’t always put you at the top of the list in many peoples book.

My let go moment for 2010 was my partial move to North Dakota.

This may not seem like much to many, but Montana has been my home for  nearly 25 years, off and on. I was born in Elko, Nevada, but my folks moved back to Montana soon after I was born. From there we moved to Idaho, then back to Montana, then to Arizona, then back to Montana and we’ve been in Montana ever since. My dad was a commercial airline pilot, which was the reason for all the moves. In 1987 he was killed in a mid-air collision of Kerns, Utah, thus the abrupt end to all of our moving around. It’s funny how certain parts of your life seem as if they aren’t really yours; more like a movie and you’re just watching it from the outside. How my mom must have hated packing up and moving, especially with small children.

So living somewhere else hasn’t been an idea I’ve seriously entertained. Although, for the last 3 years since my divorce, that very thought keeps popping up. But it certainly wasn’t North Dakota that I was planning on. More like Texas.

Montana will and always has been home. My family is there and there’s just something about Montana that keeps me there. Moving to North Dakota has made me feel like I can do anything, and I’m not limited. It’s a baby step. A beginning. And yes, I realize, North Dakota is one of the states bordering Montana, but frankly I don’t know anyone here. I’m basically alone. I have clients who treats me like one of the family, and I’ve become good friends with their sons, so I have a safety net, but the decion to accept the position was based entirely on what I wanted in life.

This is something new for me. I take into account what everyone else wants. What would be best for my mom, or grandparents, or siblings. I very seldom do anything just for me.

I let go of an old ideal. The ideal that I can’t make a huge life altering decision because I had to many responsibilities, a house, animals, family. I let go of my control and I’m just letting things happen as they happen.

And I’m loving it!Found on Deviant Art by Melane G.