Things – #reverb10 – December 11th, 2010

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? – (Author: Sam Davidson)

I’m not excited about having to dwell on 11 things my life doesn’t need.

Negativity. I’m tired of feeling negative, even when something is a positive. I don’t want to think about what can go wrong. I just want to think about how positive this experience is right now!

Shame. Honestly…this has to be the worst human emotion out there. Yes, I appreciate shame when it’s warranted. But damnit! I’ve made a few mistakes and some mistakes have been made against me. I don’t want to keep dwelling on the mistake and rehashing it and trying to internalize the whole mess! Enough already!

Which brings me to another thing I’d like to get rid of. That nagging little voice that says I’m not pretty enough, or tall enough. The voice that nags me when I’m smiling and makes me think people are just staring at my nose or the space between my teeth! For pete sake! I know it’s there. Why do I have to make myself feel like everyone is obviously staring at it in horror. I’m not Taylor Swift. Why does my brain keep telling me, that ME is not enough! I am enough! More than enough! I’m unique and frankly I just want to be comfortable in my own damn skin! I can’t get rid of it, or exchange for another model. I just want to be comfortable in ME!

Lack of friends. I don’t have any. I don’t need a “BFF” or whatever the heck that is. I just want friends who don’t dwell on drama. Who are striving to do right by others and themselves. Who can walk into a bar or club and hang out as girls without having to worry about every guy in the joint. WHO CARES ABOUT MEN! I’d use the “F” word right now, but I know my Uncle reads this and I really don’t like using the “F” word, but sometimes it feels necessary. I just want that happy friend relationship that’s not threatened by a guy or a huge diamond. I just want respect and trust and a boat load of fun. *Insert internal nagging voice here* “You aren’t pretty enough. Oh and you aren’t flawless, and you like to talk about politics, and you sometimes get a little loud when your drinking. Oh, and, remember. That obnoxious laugh you have when you’re trying really hard to fit in, and it’s so obvious that you don’t. That’s why you don’t have friends.” See what I mean? Why can’t that little hooker leave me alone!

I’m tired of being shy! It’s worse than be a coward, and being a coward is pretty bad. Besides, I don’t look good in yellow and I’m assuming that “shy” is like a big huge florescent pink and yellow flag. It’s so…out there! And I’m not much of a pink girl either. So lets just mix the two colors that don’t fit me, plaster them all over me in a huge swishy jump suit and laugh while I stumble through life trying to remain a wall flower. *insert “F” word* I’m done with this jumpsuit!

Can I say my big feet. I mean, I know they are kind of stuck with me, but I really want to buy *superstar* hot heels and be able to actually walk around in them, gracefully. Not like a knock kneed zebra. GEEZ! Do they give lessons on walking in heels? Because if so, sign me up!

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